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Literature Text
This feeling of rejection;
Ever since that day three Februaries back, it's been numb to me.
Maybe because I've figured it out by now
That a crush would always, ultimately, crush me.
Into how many millions of pieces, I don't know,
but after a while, it just doesn't matter.
His bright blue eyes are the only thing I can look at
and his smile—and the way he presents it,
how he lowers his eyes and looks at his knees,
and how he lets out that soft chuckle
before looking back up at me once more.
And because I love to see that, I try to make him laugh
cheesy one-liners are my way to go.
Impressed by how he is able to throw them right back at me,
I laugh more from his reactions than his words, I suppose.
I bite my lip, avoiding eye contact as well,
but end up cursing myself for looking away from his precious smile.
Despite how little time we've had together,
I can't help but think about him, awaiting our daily encounters.
Devoted to building our relationship from block one,
then block two, and three…
and five, and six, and seven,
and I present myself better every time in order to impress him
so maybe one of these days, I'll grab his attention.
Right when I thought it was going smoothly,
I remember back to that crush three Februaries back.
To that feeling of rejection I thought had already numbed.
I'm living through the same symptoms, the same feelings
History repeats itself, after all.
I fear what I figured out so long ago;
That a crush would, ultimately, crush me,
and I curl up, quivering, wishing his precious smile was here
to present itself like it always did.
And I stop building the blocks; I don't want to build on.
I fear that his smile will never shine for me.
I fear his chuckle will never come from so close.
The higher you climb, the farther you fall, after all.
And the worst I fear—never seeing his bright blue eyes;
the one thing I couldn't go on without.
The last thing I wanted was for him to discover my feelings
For him to have the opportunity to do what I fear the most;
Reject me, and all these suppressed feelings for him.
So I stop with my cheesy one-liners,
and he stops presenting that smile I longed for daily.
Thus he doesn't lower his eyes and let out his chuckle,
or give me his expressions that eased my heart.
Then the first block I built started to crumble
then blocks two, and three…
and five, and six, and seven…
from the distance that grew between us.
I wanted no more than to tell him of my feelings
But that pain of rejection—I couldn't live it again. I'd break.
Into how many million pieces, I don't know.
But I don't want to find out.
He gazes his bright blue eyes at the girl that sat beside him
From her cheesy one-liners, he lowers his eyes and looks at his knees,
slowly presenting his beloved, precious smile
And I could only watch from a distance now so unreal
as he finally lets out his soft chuckle
before looking back up at her once more.
Um... my first literature deviation. My friend convinced me to put it up on deviantart, and I really didn't want to, but yeah. It's one of my best poems that are very true to my feelings (of course, this was written a while back so my feelings have changed about this particular person in general).
Don't have much to comment on about this. Critique would be appreciated, especially on representation of it.
Date written : 02.22.11
Don't have much to comment on about this. Critique would be appreciated, especially on representation of it.
Date written : 02.22.11
© 2011 - 2024 whitty-boo
Comments15
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;A; W---Why have I not seen this?? So beautiful and moving.... Andyouspelledcheesyright